Updated: Jan 24, 2022
Deciding whether or not to start writing this piece of writing, has been difficult enough, let alone publishing it. But here I am typing and talking into my cell phone, trusting that what I am doing is for everyone's highest good. I need to include this on my website because, without it, I feel I am mis-advertising the nature of my work now.
Here goes. During my Reiki Level One training, which is when I believe my spiritual awakening started in full force, I gained a spirit guide, well, a few of them, actually. The main one, who I named 'Missy' (names are important, so I gave her one that seemed to suit her character) has been at my side for many months now. Maybe she's been with me my whole life, I don't know, and I don't think I'll ever truly know.
I first noticed Missy's voice coming through during my bodywork/massage sessions around March of this year, after I discovered the concept of de-armouring. There were signs that her voice was trying to come through prior to this, but it wasn't until I realized that the strange, single syllables, that were coming out of my mouth, had become two syllables, ie wordlike.
In the space of just a few weeks I was hearing more and more unidentifiable words, but it had begun to sound like a real language. It wasn't long before it was clear that the language was very similar to some kind of Asian language. I have been able to translate a few words that I keep hearing, but only a few.
The Asian connection was deeply intriguing, primarily because of the fact that the space where I work is in Chinatown, in downtown Lethbridge. Chinatown is a place known for spooky goings on over the years. It has a rich history, one that has been newsworthy in recent months, in fact. I'd known about the hauntings for years, long before I first rented the space. I didn't think too much of it, to be honest. But many strange things have occurred down there, since I moved to that basement.
I've been a curious skeptic my whole life. Things that have been a bit ghostly or weird have always been able to be explained away, this though, her talking through my voice, cannot.
When I reached out to my Reiki teacher about the fact something /someone was talking through me mouth, she calmly replied, all nonchalantly, "it's your Reiki spirit guide, don't worry about it." What the f*** is a Reiki spirit guide, I asked?". I had no clue. That snippet wasn't in the fine print.
The next few weeks were very intense. More and more vowels and consonants were appearing. Words and phrases were being repeated. It felt, and still feels like, there's a bank of about a dozen or so sentences that are played randomly on shuffle repeat.
I have been going through a deep personal journey since the start of the pandemic, and Missy's appearance was putting a huge amount of pressure on my already complex and challenging personal life. It hasn't been easy for my family, especially my kids, to witness all this. I'm so grateful to my trusted friends who stood by me. Boy, did I need them. But even with all their support, things got so intense, with the twenty to thirty synchronicities a day, that at one point I was ready to sign myself into the psychiatric ward at the regional hospital.
I didn't though, nor did I make an appointment with my doctor, instead I made contact with the Neuroscience Department at the University. I figured they knew about brains, maybe they would be able to shed some light on my situation. I did talk with someone there and they seemed genuinely interested in the idea of talking with me. I agreed to a fully comprehensive psychiatric assessment so that my sanity, or lack thereof, could be assessed and then maybe we could start to delve deeper. But to this day I haven't heard back from them. I'm thinking they thought better of it. That's okay.
Someone suggested Missy is me from a past life, I don't know. I do not feel connected to any of the main religions. Saying that, though, Buddhism has had struck many chords with me in my life and more recently I've resonated with Taoism. Thinking about it now, had I not been introduced to the Taoist concepts regarding letting things go, and going with the flow, this whole situation could easily have done me in.
Just like everything else I have been passionate about - like the benefits of being barefoot, like the benefits of getting a spanking, like the benefits of prostate massage on a man's prostate health and sex life - my need to share my story about Missy and her crew, is strong.
There is a real, real possibility that I will lose friends over going public with this. And even a bigger possibility of losing potential clients, and therefore an income, but I am speaking my truth. I accept that risk. I guess it's a filter of some kind, some doors close, while other doors open. Whoever is meant to walk through the new door with me, will do so. And to those who chose to stay put or walk the other way... I wish you well in your journey.
In September, I was able to connect with a most wonderful woman who helped me with my situation. In just one week she helped me gain greater control of how and when my guide(s) spoke. For three straight weeks, I did an intense amount of personal work. So much necessary inner work. Mediation, self-reflection, soul searching, shadow work, forgiving, self-actualization. As I sit here now, I'm confident and comfortable knowing that I am in control of when Missy, and her crew, comes out. She rarely comes out without an implicit invitation from me.
It's funny, since having Missy join me on my journey, I have learned so much about myself, about why I've done the things I've done, like what my true desires are, like discovering what is truly meaningful to me, yet I know nothing more about her. All I know is that she exists, she uses me to channel whatever it is trying to say, and that there seems to be an Asian connection.
For the record, I have never heard voices in my head, it has only ever been me talking words, that I don't understand, through my mouth, and then, I hear them through my ears just like I hear my own voice when I talk. When she is talking I am still aware and present. It feels like I'm parked in the back of my brain in the left side, and she is active in the front, right part of my brain. Initially when it all first started it felt like she was coming into me through the back of my neck. In actual fact there were times it felt intrusive and borderline painful. This isn't the case now, not since I worked hard nurturing a better relationship with her when I was working with my mentor.
I am grateful for her showing up in my life. I am now to 'show up' in my life better too. Sometimes we just need to get out of our own way. To flow. To seek. To flow. To find out. To flow.
There's a handful of other stories concerning Missy, that I will be writing about but, for now, I'm going to leave it at that.