Open letter to the health care system - throwing in the towel, but knowing its the right thing to do

5th May 2021

Hello Doctors,

Just thought you might like to know that my mission to encourage the medical world to look into, study or accept prostate massage as a legitimate way of healing the prostate is now over. It's had a full twelve months of my life. I reached out to people I thought may be open to some kind of conversation with me. I truly appreciate those who had it in them to do their due diligence. I know my journey to this place has been unconventional, but my intentions are not. Maybe it just wasn’t the right time for them to engage with me. That’s okay.

The brick wall that I faced in this mission was too big. The tiny cracks were just big enough to peep into but not big enough to wriggle through to the other side. I have to assume that large enough gaps do not exist. But I know for sure that institutionalized homophobia, challenging the taboo and the ties to big pharma do exist. And it's these three things that make the wall in front of us all insurmountable and impenetrable. There were times I found myself 'praying' that the right person would take me seriously. Funny how the universe gives you what you need not what you want.

During my mission, though, I discovered a huge truth. You cannot heal a prostate if you are focused solely on that one part. You have to heal the whole. I believe a more holistic approach is possibly the only way that will provide true healing. Dis-ease takes many years to show itself, you cannot expect one drug, one procedure, one surgery, one 'try' of something to fix what's up. For most, true healing takes time, it will show itself once the dis-eased person eventually figures out what the 'pain' really is, in this case the 'pain in the prostate'.

In recent weeks I have been removed from two Facebook prostate groups for trying to shed light to the members about the possible benefits of regular prostate massage. I realize now that the members of those groups and the admins have not got it in them to think outside the box, to think past pharmaceuticals or surgery. Therefore I was wasting my time being there. My words and thoughts were falling on deaf ears. I know when my efforts are futile.

It is my belief that a gigantic proportion of those looking for answers to their prostate problems (BPH, ED, prostatitis, problems with arousal, ejaculation/orgasm and possibly even the big C) are looking in the wrong place. Therefore many of the current remedies can only provide mediocre results. Most of the drugs and procedures come with side effects as standard. This means if the sufferer wants to rid themselves of the dis-ease and it's symptoms then they have to accept the hand that's been dealt to them. What a sad situation.

I believe their conditions have more to do with their place in this world as a 'man'. How the 'man' perceives himself, I believe, is integral to the health of his prostate and pelvic floor. His role of a husband, of the provider, the employee, the head of his household, the stress about his sexual performance, whether he can satisfy his own and his partners needs, the possible guilt surrounding his own sexual identity and subsequently the way he is able, in deed permitted, to express this, ALL matters and plays a part in his prostate health and function. Without full acknowledgement and acceptance of these things then he has to settle with a band-aid. And we all know that band-aids prevent the injured from carrying on with life as normal.

Please know that I'm in no way discrediting the positive results that drugs and procedures provide those who choose that approach, nor can we dismiss uncontrollable factors like the environment and genetics in a person's story but I think there might be a better way for many.

A year after trying my best to make headway in the world of organized 'health' care systems I am accepting my defeat. It's okay. I don't take it personally, bigger things are at play here, I'm sure.

It's important to be very clear about the fact that my door is open for anyone wanting to have a conversation with me about my work, about my ideas about the future regarding the normalization of prostate massage and the idea that one day it might be accepted as a legitimate method of healing the prostate and more importantly the prostate owner themselves.

Thank you for your time

Lily